Updates, updates, updates

While on vacation the boys behavior was HORRIBLE!! And when I say horrible I really mean horrible. I am just going to leave it at that. I do however understand better now why some foster parents choose to use respite when going on vacation....still don't think we would but I do have a better understanding.

Thank goodness the boys behavior has been much MUCH better since we have been back from vacation!

The day after last weeks visit Big Boy was washing his hands in the bathroom and told me ...I don't like you.

I asked....what did you say?

I don't like you....he repeated.

I asked.....did you just say you don't like me?

My momma said I can't like you.....he stated.

Your momma said you can't like me? I asked.

Momma said I can't like you.....he stated again.

I then explained to him that this was not nice to say to anyone. He understands very well when I tell him that something he is saying or doing is bad manners. I told him that saying this is very bad manners. Also explained, that Nana likes and even loves him very much and it is okay for him to like Nana and even to love Nana.

He told me this same statement that momma told him he can't like me four times in two hours. Each time we stopped and talked at length about this statement. All the while hoping that I would put his mind at ease that if his momma did tell him this that it is okay to like where he is currently living and to like/love all of us. I explained to him that I love him a whole bunch and it is okay for him to love me a whole bunch. I really wasn't sure what progess I made with him but he has never said it to me again. But he does continue to now tell me and others in our family that he loves us and gives us hugs all without being prompted.....so I think I made progress with him.

Now as far as momma goes.....well I called the boys social worker the very next morning and told her of what he had said to me. Someone else had monitored the visit not the boys social worker. I and the social worker both believe that he did not just conveniently make this up on his own. Social worker called momma and explained to he point blank that this is NOT OKAY in any way....that it only hurts Big Boy and makes it hard on him.

Of course momma denied ever having told Big Boy this and asked to speak with me. Well, we met with her after today's visit. She started crying, picked Big Boy up and told him...you better be nice to Mrs. *******, you hear me, you better be nice to her.

Good gravy!!! This woman asked to speak to me about this all so that she could scold Big Boy in front of me. I so don't get these people. I just told her that I have no idea where he would have gotten this from because normally he tells me that he loves me and has never spoken like this before.

I continued on to give her some updates of what the boys have been doing and brought her up to date on us trying to work on potty training with Little Guy. I asked if either one of them had any other questions for us and they said no.....well yes we do....has Big Boy been cussing?

Um, no not recently. They both cussed some when they first came to us but we have not heard them cuss in a while. Why....I asked???

Well, he has cussed two or three times during the visit today.....the mom stated.

What cuss word did he say???? I asked.

Mom looks at dad and dad states....well earlier Big Boy told his oldest brother....I wll F*** you up!

Um, WHAT????? Big Boy said that I asked???? He has never, never said that word. I have no idea where he got that from. The only thing I can think of is if he has heard this from another child at daycare maybe....I will ask about it though. But the daycare has never told me of him cussing either. Big Boy has told my husband a couple of times that he was gonna beat his a** when he first came to our house (naturally both mom and dad laughed as though this was funny).

I did not say it to the mom and dad but I was really thinking that he probably said it because that is the way they all talk to each other.....meaning even the older brothers talking this way to and since he was with them he reverted back to talking the way the normally talk to each other. Or someone in the room slipped up and said this and he repeated what had been said.

Either way, he has not been talking like this AT ALL when he is with us.
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In other news, the social worker and our FAD worker have been telling me that the mom has really gained some weight and they are wondering if it is from not doing drugs now or if she is ....yep you guessed it......if she is PREGNANT.

Well, today was the first day I have seen her in over a month probably and I am here to tell you if this woman is not pregnant then I am not alive and breathing....